Update...

It has been way too long since I have posted. But I am back and plan to be better. So I will try to give an update and then move on.

Grace ended up staying at Hogwarts until February 28th, 2014. She came home because funding for her care ran out. We were hopeful however that she was better. She came home and we had a Therapist in place to help her transition. All seemed to be going well for awhile. She was still having some minor problems and we considered it to be the adjustment period. It was so wonderful to have her home and to be together as a family. We really treasured that time.

Unfortunately it was not to last. In April we really started to see old behaviors start to come back full force. The screaming, the anger, hitting, holes in walls, and new behaviors like cursing. Not my favorite!!! We kept trying to work with her and use our new skills and tried to get her to use hers. However nothing seemed to be working. On April 24th she was once again readmitted to an acute care facility. I felt like I had failed. After 9 days she was able to come back home. She immediately started to blow up again. Less than 24 hours after being home we took her to another facility. This one was not a hospital, but more of a cool down center.

After all of this, it was decided that Grace would go and live with with some good friends. The thought was she needs to be in a home, but maybe not ours. This was a very difficult decision but everyone felt it was for the best. We packed up Grace and moved her several hours away. At first it seemed like this could work, but it was short lived. Grace was adding so much stress and it was obvious that it was not good for anyone. So home she came after about 3 weeks. She lasted about 12 hours at home before she blew up again. We took her this time to a hospital closer to our house. We found out that they had a small unit for behavior health. We had never tried before because we thought there wouldn't be a bed available. Call it luck or divine intervention but she got in. She did well and we were very happy with the care she was getting. However we were getting nervous about what to do with her. We decided that the best option was to send Brother and Sister to stay with their Grandparents so that we could focus completely on Grace. We thought lets get Grace in a routine that works for her and then Work in the other kids. Everyone thought this was a good idea and it could work. That lasted one week. She had a blow up like we had never seen. She actually had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. She was once again admitted to the hospital near our hame again. While she was at the hospital this time the treatment team felt that we had actually done everything that we could for her. They were now suggesting that Grace go to the State Hospital. This scared us so much. We felt like there had to be another way. We came up with one more plan to try and keep her in our home. After talking with her therapist and discussing the plan everyone thought it was worth one more chance.

This plan was in no way easy. However we tried to focus on all the good behaviors. We were trying to show Grace that we loved her and we wanted her to be in our home. We had a team of people from the therapy company in our home daily. They were there to help her not get to worked up and to help us parent better. Some days were great and some were awful. We just kept trying. We some how made it through the summer. Everyone thought if we could just get Grace back in school she would be ok. Finally the first day, week, month of school came. We could not have been more wrong.

After school started things got worse than ever. The blow ups were over nothing. Things like "Did you turn in your assignment?", "Did you clean your room?", "would you do the dishes?". Everything set her off. We still had help in the home and yet no one could keep her calm or us safe. During this time she threw a bottle and it hit her Dad in the face and gave him a cut the required 6 stitches. Four days later I was trying to hold her in a way we had be trained to do while she was punching and kicking. Well she got away from me and kicked me in the head and knocked me out. It was one of the very rare times I was all alone with her. For some reason I have been her target. Dad go home very soon after it happened and took me to the hospital. I had a concussion. Not fun!!! At this point it was becoming very difficult to have her at home. We had a small break because Dad and I took a week and went to New York City. My Mom came to stay with the kids while we were gone. Grace did ok that week. Mind you we had help from the therapist every waking moment of the day. Also Grace always has a honeymoon period. The day after we got home my mom left. Four hours after my Mom was gone Grace blew up again. We took Grace to the hospital and it was decided she needed to be admitted again. However there were no beds available until the next day. We waited in the ER over night for her to get the next bed. Grace spent the next week in the hospital. After Grace had given me the concussion  we contacted DCFS. We had a very real safety risk at this point and didn't know what to do. We were trying to get Grace into what is know as a Professional Parenting home. This is someone who is highly trained to deal with kids just like Grace. DCFS gathered info from all of Grace's treatments and went before  a review board. It was then decided on September 17th that Grace need to go to the state hospital. While Grace was being admitted she found out the plan for the state hospital and got angry and threw a box of crayons in my face. Thankfully it wasn't something bigger. After one week in the hospital the paper work was not processed and the state hospital had not admitted her yet. Insurance once again quit paying and we had no choice but to bring her home. That lasted one day, almost 24 hours exactly. She blew up and back she went again. This time is was a 20 hour wait in the ER for a bed. The day after Grace was admitted we found out she had been admitted to the state hospital. Once she found out she blew up everyday at the hospital. When she had been there the week before she had been a little angel. The staff was very surprised in the difference from one week to the next.

On Wednesday October 8th Grace was taken by ambulance the 85 miles to the State Hospital. It took us 5 hours of talking to her treatment team for her to be admitted. But it is finally done. She is now in their care.

The good news... Everyone that I have talked to who has know of a child who has gone there has said that the child came out and was wonderful. This gives me hope. If you know of a situation that is other wise, don't tell me!!! I have hope right now and I need it!!!!

Grace's treatment team right now are planning on her to be there 12 months. That seems so long, but if it works it is worth every minute. More about the hospital in another post.

Right now I ask for thoughts and prayers. This has been a very long and trying time for all of us. Thanks for reading!!