Because Life isn't hard enough right now!!!

I just have to start this post by saying WOW!!!! So last Thursday night we were just finishing dinner when we had a knock at the door. Dad answered the door to a man neither of us knew. The man identified himself as an employee of the state, from the child welfare dept. I couldn't believe it. At first I thought this must be normal for having a child going through what Grace is going through. Then he dropped a bomb. He was investigating a report on Brother. I was so shocked. The had a report that I had hit him and left marks on him. I just lost it and started to cry. So the only think I could think of was a really bad day that we had in May. Brother had a really bad day and instead of being content to wait it out in his room he argued and yelled at me for two hours. I did lose it, I'll admit it. I called Dad and said I needed him to come home from work and help me. He left work, but it takes 30 minutes to get home. Brother had been going out of windows and telling me I couldn't make him do anything. All of this started because he decide to tell me he was sick, when he really wasn't The fight started because he wanted to read and I said that he could, but that at the end of the day he need to write a 2 page book report. It was such a crazy day. He pushed and pushed every button I had for 2 hours. I tried to spank him (yes I do spank, please don't judge its not illegal) Well good luck spanking a almost 12 year old boy. I did end up smacking him in the shoulder. I immediately regretted it. I even ended up packing my stuff and telling Dad when he got home that I couldn't stay. He sat down and talked with Brother, and he realized that he should have backed off. Really I know I was the one who should have held it together.I in no way blame Brother, he is not the adult. I explained all of this to the State worker. In the end he felt that it was not something that would be defined as abuse. Also to clarify I have never left a mark on any of my kids. The next thing we were told made me laugh. There was also a  report that we lock our kids in closets as punishment. REALLY!!!! Who is telling you these lies???? Dad asked if he wanted to see our closets? None of them have locks. I just could not believe what I was hearing. They did ask to talk to Brother alone, and since we have nothing to hide we were fine with it.  In the end the State worker felt there were no concerns and it should be done. Talk about overwhelming. This really was not what we needed right now. I understand that have to keep kids safe, that's fine. The time just really could not have been any worse. I am not a perfect mom, I have never said that I am. I am doing the best that I can. At the end of the day I can just hope that it is enough!